Monday, May 09, 2005

from the desk of Agent Trochee

Dear Snarkville,

Lately we have received a good deal of email expressing joy over our coverage of the poetry world's missteps and misfortunes. We have even more email from readers out there on the interweb who think we are "low slinky beasts and that we should keep our heads in the shit we produce." That is some good snark. But there was also concern and constructive criticism.

For example, why anonymity? Well, that is simple. Anonymity not only carries on a tradition by the Edinburgh Review but it also ensures honesty. You see, snarking is not for us but for everyone. Just like the museum is not just for the rich or the educated but for everyone and for the preservation of our histories, so too is Poetry Snark for the preservation of poetry and for everyone. Everyone is entitled to an opinion and sometimes those opinions are strong. Because readers are sometimes unable to express themselves properly when righteously disgusted by mediocrity and ineptitude, they may be embarrassed by potentially sounding crazy, stupid or some other shameful adjective. Well, fear no more, Snarkville! Here at Poetry Snark we hope to provide varied coverage so that you may make comments of your own.

This venture applies equally to readers and writers. After all, writers sometimes want to talk shit about their friends but don't know how to. Well, here you can do just that. Or maybe you are into cronyism and politics, well, we won't hold that against you too much so long as you are honest. Hell, you can lie to us. We don't care. You probably suck anyway.

So, remember kids: this is not for fame and glory. No, this is for some righteous corrective action. Poetry Snark is for poetry and snark, two glorious arts working together to keep humanity on course.

Writers and readers alike, we are calling you out. Get it together or get out.



Blogger Snark said...

What the fuck? Who croaked and made you hippy king of Snark Alley? Listen to yourself: "You see, snarking is not for us but for everyone. Just like the museum is not just for the rich or the educated but for everyone and for the preservation of our histories, so too is Poetry Snark for the preservation of poetry and for everyone." You sound like fucking Snark Donovan. "Snark is for everyone"? Not so--Snark is for people smart and mean enough to snark, which seems to amount to precious few in poe-biz. Tell the Snark whiners to felch Dick Cheney's bunghole, what I say.

12:08 PM, May 09, 2005  
Blogger R.C. Bald said...

I say, dear chap, "felch Dick Cheney's bunghole?" You'll forgive the ignorance of an old man, but wouldn't giving Mr. Cheney the pleasure betray the very viciousness and upper-handed malice inherent in a good snarking? I dare say he might thank you for your willing promotion of such a deed!

12:40 PM, May 09, 2005  
Anonymous Renata said...

Do please remain anonymous. And please, write a Snark Manual, self publish it, and sell it. For the children, for the poor, for Angelina Jolie. And get some ointment for those red balls.

7:43 AM, May 10, 2005  
Blogger Ginger Pennebaker said...


1. Find a lousy poem, poet, poetry school, movement, epoch, etc.

2. Snark the fuck out of said melodramatic / vapid / monotone / calcified / solipsistic / etc. poetry.

3. Watch the shit hit the virtual fan.

4. Snark the shit.

Eg. "Samuel Johnson was a quivering pedant, the Great Rectum of the Heartless Iamb, of all the British Bores most frightful. Would that history had left his Dictionary and shat upon his horrid Poesy."

12:00 PM, May 10, 2005  
Blogger bill blood said...

Blood is boiling.
Snark is forming.
And you my fellow snarkers
Better watch your backs.

3:23 PM, May 10, 2005  
Anonymous Fabian Trunkhatch said...

I hate many things. Many poems/poets/poetics I'd like to beat to a bloody pulp, don't get me wrong, but if we want to effect change, foster something meaningful, promote good work, etc., maybe (in addition to snarking, mind you) we should create yet another weblog wherein reason might achieve a beginning to said aims. I mean, seriously, fuck Silliman, but why take fucking him seriously? I like the elaborate snark, the critical snark, the snark that fucks all but does it patiently & with an argument. No snark is absolute, so a democratic snarking might be best. But then again, fuck me.

3:56 PM, May 10, 2005  
Blogger Agent Trochee said...

Blake wrote in Jerusalem: "Labour well the minute particulars; attend to the Little Ones....He would do good to another must do it in Minute Particulars. General Good is the plea of the scoundrel, hypocrite and flatterer, for Art and Science cannot exist but in minutely organized particulars."

Snark is right. We do the "real" snarking but your comments are encouraged and desired. If you are smart and snarky, then good. If not, well, you suck.

All I'm saying is attend to the Little Ones. Let us little by little crush beneath the wheel of Snark that poetry that calls itself Poetry and reinstate what is good and right.

9:00 AM, May 12, 2005  

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