Friday, June 24, 2005

Poetry's Biggest Tool

And the winner is (sound of a snare drum rolling).... Who the hell knows. Only about 15 of you peeps actually voted--despite my repeated pleas and the increasing traffic this blog is getting as a result of being listed as the top "hot site" at Exquisite Corpse (ooh, I feel so hot!) (Didn't that used to be a respected journal? They must have really sunk if they're linking to a site like this.) We had some nominations outside those I mentioned: Karen Volkman got a vote and Sarah Manguso got two. Joshua Clover and Todd Swift tied for the most mentions. Clover also received a comment from "Jorie" who informs us that his tool really isn't all that big (she should know, I suppose). Across the pond, it seems Mark Ford is known for toolish ways. So who knows--the competition is thick, and our readers (that's you) seem to be a pack of lazy bums.

Coming soon! I dug up another lost poet of the 70s, leaving us with two remaining. Also, a little bird has been enouraging me to snark Mr. Aaron "thanks Brenda!" McCollough. Ask and you shall receive!


Anonymous Anonymous said...

maybe POETRY SNARK is poetry's biggest tool!

11:02 PM, June 24, 2005  
Blogger Agent Trochee said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

6:48 AM, June 28, 2005  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Isn't poetry's biggest tool Spencer Short?

11:12 AM, June 28, 2005  
Blogger Ginger Pennebaker said...

Asses fat at or asses buxom -
It's all a quirk of Social Custom.

As to Spencer Short - perhaps he showed some potential, I don't know. At this point, he's a tool of the Law. I suppose we could discuss

Whether he's bigger than a judge's gavel
And other e'en more pointless babble.

In any case

Let not the mark of Poesy
Be chained to Physiology.

5:59 PM, June 28, 2005  
Blogger * said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

10:52 PM, July 01, 2005  
Blogger * said...

PS: I find it interesting that there's a magnifying glass where your cock's supposed to be.


10:53 PM, July 01, 2005  
Anonymous Janet Holmes said...

Heh, we all know which birdie's been siccing you on Brenda Hillman & Aaron McCollough.

He's acting on behalf of the sore loser of the contest he lost to Aaron; he apparently believes his prior communications with me (in which I encouraged him with suggested revisions) should have snagged him the prize. The fact that Hillman chose someone she didn't know is inconceivable to him and his friend, Mr. Foetry.

Funny that he seems to believe he'd successfully fixed the contest...I suppose if he'd won, everything would have been all right!

Why not sic yourselves on the whiners who believe the only reason they're never published is because someone else is cheating? 'Cause, you know, there are other reasons nobody's ever heard of them.

1:15 PM, July 05, 2005  
Anonymous janet holmes said...

" just seems like you are throwing vague conjectures into the air with the hope to bait a response."

Heh, and that isn't bait, Agent T?

The "birdie" is Mr. Alan Cordle, who's been lurking in several blog comment areas trying to make it seem that his Foetry assaults have had an impact on people's careers. So far he seems to have had an affect on nobody except his wife, described as looking as if she wanted to kill him in the L.A. Times article Alan's so proud of.

The "sore loser" is Chris Semansky, whose piece in the Portland Oregonian tipped his hand. My guess--and I suspect the truth--is that he's the one who started the truly repellent rumors about McCollough and Hillman being student and teacher, working over manuscripts in her hotel room, etc. In truth, Hillman was not on the Iowa faculty while McCollough was a student there.

But then, Alan Cordle married his own professor, so he knows something about professor-student relationships. It's probably natural that he thinks everyone else is guilty of them.

The only beef Cordle has with me is that I and my lawyer alerted Domains by Proxy to the fact that (truly) illegal activity was ongoing in the original Foetry blog, including the provision of letters to be sent defaming me to my University and the Idaho Attorney General, in an attempt to get me fired. (They didn't succeed.) That's part of the libel law that gets you a conviction; the only way out of it is to prove that what they said was true, which is impossible. Domains by Proxy revealed his name. Alan's still upset.

Actually, I've enjoyed Poetry Snark pretty well; the "poets of the 70's" feature is truly funny. But don't turn into a rumor mill and libel factory like Foetry: it's ugly.

10:11 AM, July 06, 2005  
Blogger Agent Trochee said...

Don't worry Ms. Holmes. All our hearsay is firsthand and we are more interested in what we know than what we hear. And yes, of course, I am a fisherman of comments and, like a good fisherman, I have to have good bait. Besides, we are not really out to "out" anyone. We said we wanted to move along the same lines as the Edinburgh Review and we mean it. Thank you for checking us out - it is nice when a literary celebrity pays us a visit.

11:00 AM, July 06, 2005  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

12:45 PM, July 06, 2005  
Blogger Agent Trochee said...

Dear A.G.

If what you say is true, then that explains a few things. It has only been a couple of years since I have seen her. But you are was silly to claim that ALL of our hearsay is firsthand but I trust most of my friends and I will just have to trust you on this one.

And no, my work and my life do not have much empathy in them. Remember? I am a cold fish ghost swan. I am the sort of person who immortalizes a recently deceased friend in a dull parody of a dull poem.

Thanks for stopping by. Come again.

1:12 PM, July 06, 2005  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

interesting. are you also the sort of person who reads manuscripts for THE LITERARY REVIEW, agent trochee?

1:52 PM, July 06, 2005  
Blogger Agent Trochee said...

No. I get too excited reading what is in print; I used to lose my mind reading unsolicited submissions for other journals.

Anything else?

1:55 PM, July 06, 2005  
Anonymous 50 ft queenie said...

are snark & trochee really different folks? as a longtime snark fan i will cling to that proposition.

would bill blood & snark as readily fall to to their knees at the drop of a runner-up title when the queen of careerist poets--janet holmes--comes along with her propaganda propeller?

fucking asshole kissing dick cheese suckers

FUCK janet holmes. Agent trochee sucks in my book from now on.

5:50 PM, July 15, 2005  
Anonymous tell you my name F-U-C-K said...

look at all the smack innuendo gossip shit talk janet squeezed into one blog comment..amazing


6:01 PM, July 15, 2005  
Anonymous 50 ft queenie said...

Poetry's biggest Tool?

duh, it was right under our noses

clearly it's Janet Holmes

6:09 PM, July 15, 2005  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Darn. Why didn't Arielle Greenberg make this list?

6:35 PM, August 08, 2005  

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