Saturday, May 14, 2005

Mark Strand: Poetry's Pimp

Hey there pretty lady, wanna come sit on my absence? Posted by Hello


Blogger Adam Hardin said...

I will be the madman who runs around screaming, "American Literature is Dead! American Literature is Dead!"

Where are the writers who if they could not write anymore would blow their fucking brains all over their nice white walls? Where are they?

That sort of writer is dead.

What stands in their place are M.F.A. brats. Little kids doing shadow puppets, and calling themselves "writers."

I am fucking mad as hell, and I'm not going to take it anymore.

Adam Hardin


11:12 PM, May 14, 2005  
Blogger Snark said...


If you want to use this space to snark, you are as welcome to it as anyone else. If you want to use it to repeat your boring claims about the "death of literature" and the evils of M.F.A. programs, go do it elsewhere. You sound like you think no one has ever thought about these things before. In truth, your points are hackneyed and trite. People have been proclaiming the "death of literature" for about as long as literature has been in existence, and ranting about M.F.A. programs is such a tired old game it doesn't even qualify as snark. If you can be funny or original, post at this site, if not, go back to your Literary Underground.

And we're not interested in your grandstanding about how much of a "madman" you are either. By the way, if you want to read the blog of a real madman, check out Henry Dagger.

1:13 AM, May 15, 2005  
Blogger steve barron said...

It is Chardin's job, his calling, if you will, to rant about MFA programs and the death of literature. Don't complain & feign boredom over the modern saint's job. His hair shirt is made from the finest, blackest back hair of Bob Bly. It's good work, if you can get it.

That's your ULA snark blog, isn't it?

Good work, Snark. Can I come and sit on *your* absence?

5:50 AM, May 15, 2005  
Blogger Adam Hardin said...

A madman?

Dagger is a pirate.

Dagger is also the most over-done hollywood pirate I ev'r heard.

Dagger is a style. Are you confused?

10:47 AM, May 15, 2005  
Blogger Ha ha ha said...

Dear Mr. Hardin,

You small and runny pile of encephalitis. "American Literature is dead." Where'd you get that insight, the LaBrea fucking tar-pits? Keep raving in your forest, pal, but you are a far, far cry from earning any love/cred from us real snarkers. Your own yawn is bored with you. God knows you're not worth the gurney they'll inevitably strap you down on.

I hope you act as stupidly and insanely in your day-job waiting tables by the vending machine at Sears.


Lord Haw-Haw

8:00 PM, May 15, 2005  
Blogger Snark said...

barron said,

"His hair shirt is made from the finest, blackest back hair of Bob Bly. It's good work, if you can get it"

I doubt that it is good work, and it most certainly is an extraorinarily ugly shirt.

11:20 PM, May 15, 2005  
Anonymous renata said...

I like less messianic and more entertaining. Amnesty International has a wealth of info on their website, and I never visit it. They write me and call me, and act like they fucking depend on my ten dollars. Thus, Adam, you are absolutely right, and I have read some fabulous snark from you on foetry like the classic "yellow sparrow" bit and the dump on harry potter, so I would urge you to channel less rosie o'donnell and more monty python and - continued success. Snarky, you are one proud turd, and you defend your turf admirably like a horny baboon on nicotine withdrawal. I would definitely put you in a cage.

8:24 AM, May 16, 2005  
Blogger Adam Hardin said...

Do you have one or more of the following symptoms:

You've been on a drunken hayride at Breadloaf.

Your poetry or prose is absolutely indistinguishable from anyone elses.

You wake up in the middle of the night, and ask yourself "Is it too late to go to Law School."

Your job at Cracker Barrel is hurting your back.

You know what A.H.W.O.S.G. stands for.

You are so white that you make Conan O'Brien look ghetto.

You think Sarah Vowell is really hot.

If you have these symptoms, you might have D.M.F.A.B.S.

Disgruntled M.F.A. Brat Syndrome

This message courtesy of the ULA.

9:57 PM, May 16, 2005  
Blogger Snark said...

Renata, Adam,

That's more like it--decent snark--not great snark, but showing at least a hint of flair...

If you must harp, Mr. Hardin, on the the dead horse of M.F.A. programs, at least do it with some bare modicum of creativity, as you do in the post above.

I would however advise you to lay off of Henry Dagger. We've seen what happens to people who go after Mr. D. They wind up starving in a gloomy Chicago apartment, while writing a 10,000+ page apocalyptic fantasy novel (with fully illustrated watercolor accompanyment) about chicks with dicks.

1:51 AM, May 17, 2005  
Anonymous renata said...

mark! XOXOXO! I like your 'courtship' poem! snark and adam are just jealous of your cosmopolitan chin! see what your mere appearance does to people

1:26 PM, May 17, 2005  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Go Adam, go!


12:23 PM, July 10, 2006  

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